Happy Birthday Cindy Ames, I love you deeply –
By Rod Ames
Cindy is the one on the right
Someone once said, and it was probably a quarterback back in 1946 in Port Arthur, Texas after an amazing comeback (that’s the first printed copy I could find anyway) “Behind every great man, is a great woman.”
Today, 51 years ago, my wife, Cindy was born in New York. Seventeen years ago, she came into my life and has been behind me every step of the way.
When I was doing a little research for this tribute to a very special woman, I saw a lot of hoopla concerning the origins of this phrase. Was it of feminist movement origins during the 60’s? Was it demeaning towards women.
I don’t really care about the origins all that much but what I do care about is whether it was feminist or not.
I don’t believe it is. Here’s why.
First, I want to clear one thing up. There is no way in hell I believe myself to be great. Not even close. I strive to be good but have great difficulty (some days) achieving even that small task. The simple task of just doing the next right thing is at times excruciatingly painful for this meager male of the Homo sapiens species.
Now that I got that off my chest, I can go on.
My wife has always been there for me. No matter what my calling or shenanigans were, she has always been there to support me.
Don’t get me wrong. She may very well have been telling me, “I think your crazy”, but it would be followed by, “but you have to walk your own path”, or something like that.
There was one incident back in Florida, about twelve years ago. IBM was going to hire me at a great sum of money (great to us). I was about to depart for Raleigh, North Carolina for three or four days of orientation, when it occurred to me I didn’t want to take this job. It was giving me a knot in my stomach and I hadn’t even gone through orientation yet. I wanted to go to art school and become a better artist.
Looking back, I was choosing almost certain poverty over a well paying job and probably a great future in the world of information technology. She was there though. This was probably one of those times she said I was crazy and there may very well have been some sort of an expletive before the word crazy, however, she was there never the less.
She has always been there for me. Sometimes I show my appreciation, sometimes not. However, I always feel it. We made it through that one. We making the decision to turn down the job at IBM led me to another employer, still making decent wages where I was laid off, which led me to the career I’ve been involved in for the last eleven years. The world of recovery of addiction is where I work now and I love it immensely.
My wife is involved in that too and works in the field both career wise and personally. She is constantly helping women surrender and eventually win the battle against addiction. She has touched many lives over the last seventeen year. Mine is only one.
I could write about each life she has personally been involved but then this little essay would not be an essay. It would be the equivalent to a Tolstoy novel and I probably would not live long enough to complete it.
Therefore, if being behind me, pushing me every step of the way weren’t enough, when she’s not behind me, she’s behind other women, also pushing them to better their lives. I’m not sure she completely understands what she does. That is exactly how selfless she is.
I don’t believe she realizes how many families she has had a direct hand in bringing back together. Hopes of children being replenished because they got there Mother back. Hopes of husbands who got there Wife back. The hopes of Mothers, Fathers, Brothers and Sisters who got there daughter or sister back and were able to go on with there lives and all because my Wife was able to get out of her self almost daily for the last seventeen years to lend a hand. She’s always there to lift someone up and help him or her to get back on their feet again.
That’s what my wife, who was born on December 20, 1958, does. Not only has she been behind me for the last seventeen years, she’s been behind countless women along the way as well. And believe me, I’m a full time job all by myself. Yet she has been able to do it.
I’ve, we’ve given her an extra gray hair or two along the way but she’s always been there.
I just don’t know what I’d do without her. Thank you God, whoever you are, for putting Cindy Ann Savage into my life back in February 1992.
She is my rock.