Debunking the Myths about Adult Toys
Nowadays, you can find couples-friendly and sex-positive stores around the country, in small and large cities as well as the suburbs. Not only do they sell erotic wares (like wand vibrators), but they also educate customers, create a safe space for people to explore their sexuality without shame, and promote a positive attitude about sex. You can also socialize with your friends at a house party and sip cocktails while you sample the latest flavored lube and examine the newest rabbit vibrator. And, for those folks not ready to venture into public or semi public spaces, online sex shops provide people the opportunity to shop for intimate items with discretion and anonymity.
Such sex-positive sex toy shopping has changed the way we think about not only sex toys but also our own sexuality. These changes have contributed to a growing sex toy industry that is estimated to generate more than $1 billion a year—and shows no signs of slowing down. And best of all, the selection of toys available to us is bigger, more diverse, and of higher quality than ever before. While adult novelty giants like Doc Johnson and California Exotics still continue to churn out a huge selection of mass-produced toys each year, small boutique companies such as Jimmyjane and Njoy focus on a smaller number of high-end luxury toys.
As a result of unique companies like theirs, many sex toys are now made with higher quality materials in aesthetically pleasing and highly functional designs.Given all this, you might assume that the stereo types and myths associated with sex toys would be a thing of the past. Not so! Sadly, myths still abound and prevent some people from considering what a wonderful addition toys can be to their sex lives.
Here are some of the most common myths about the sex toy industry debunked.
- Toys are for people who can’t get “the real thing.”This myth evokes the stereotypical sex toy: the blow-up doll. It’s based on the notion that the only people who buy sex toys are those who don’t have a sexual partner or—worse yet—can’t get one(think antisocial loners and weirdos).Their only option for sexual pleasure is to use a toy as a “replacement” for a human being. Sex toys are not replacements for partners, and people don’t always use them instead of having sex. People from all walks of life, both single and partnered, use sex toys.
- Toys are only for masturbation.This myth is related to the first one and rein forces the idea that you only use toys by yourself. Sex toys are wonderful for solo pleasure, but they aren’t just for that special alone time! There are so many different kinds of toys, and most of them can be used not only alone, but also to bring fun, fantasy, variety, and inspiration to sex with your partner.
- Toys are for folks who have sexual problems.This myth originated in the days when doctors diagnosed women with sexual frigidity (and other non sexual ailments)and prescribed vibrators to induce orgasms. It was helped along by the concept of “marital aids”—the old term used to describe sex toys—a phrase that persists to this day. The underlying theme here is that toys are made to fix problems and if you’re healthy, you don’t need them. What a load of bull! Although toys can certainly help people with a variety of sexual issues, from low libido to erectile dysfunction, that’s not their only purpose.
- If my wife gets her hands on a vibrator, she won’t need me any more.They may not admit it out loud, but somewhere in the back of their minds,many men have this irrational fear: a vibrator does a better job than they do.Because of this, for some, vibrators and other sex toys feel threatening. But they shouldn’t. Sex toys don’t put a dent in your masculinity or one-up your lovemaking skills. This is not an either/or choice or a contest. Besides, a vibrator doesn’t keep her warm at night, take her to dinner, or fix things around the house!
- If we have to use a toy, then something’s wrong.If a person feels threatened by sex toys,he may believe that his partner’s desire for a toy is a not-so-subtle comment on his skill as a lover. When I worked at a sex toy store, I often met customers who resisted buying a toy by saying, “I can satisfy my partner just fine on my own—I don’t need any help.”
Using a toy is not about compensating for your shortcomings(or someone else’s); it’s about bringing something new into the mix to enhance sex.For people who have gotten past the myths—and recognize that sex toys can be an incredible way to explore new dimensions of partnered and solo sex—there’s just one not-so-small problem: How and what do you choose?
I wrote this book as a way to introduce people to all the different types of sex toys, and their style, form, and function.Not only is it a guidebook, but it also offers my recommendations for top toys in each category. Plus, there’s advice about how to use different toys, accessories,and products to inspire, expand,and enhance your sex life.
I’ve also included general prices, although do keep in mind that price may vary depending on where you buy.Just as technology has revolutionized our everyday lives, I believe sex toys have the potential to transform our sex lives. I hope this book inspires you to join the revolution!