Here are a few funny lines I have come across. What are your favorites?
“If I don’t love you baby, grits ain’t groceries, eggs ain’t poultry, and Mona Lisa was a man”
Antsy McClain and Trailer Park Troubadours describing an attractive trailer park female: “She had a tube top full of every schoolboy’s dreams”. Uncle Ledford, the trailer salesman to the young couple: “It ain’t home till you take the wheels off, it ain’t home till its up on blocks”.
Seasick Steve, the freight train hopper and bluesman, about life:
“I started out with nothing and I’ve still got most of it left”
Unknown blues singer describing the First Rule of Landlord/Tenant relations:
“cash talks, bull---- walks”
Line in a song about an “ugly” woman:
“they”ll never leave you, and if they do you won’t mind”
Double entendre line from Shake Rattle and Roll: “A one-eyed cat peepin’ in a seafood store”
Butch Hancock, talking about a temperamental Latin gal:
“They say that Spanish is a loving tongue-but she never spoke Spanish to me”
Perhaps the most famous blues song line:
“If the river was whiskey and I was a duck, I’d dive to the bottom and never come up”
One that many of us have heard:
“I’m not broken, but I am badly bent”
From Little Temple song about eating chicken:
“She come stewing me up the last part that goes over the fence. I knew she was acting funny but I didn’t catch the hint. I ate the wrong part ….I ate the wrong part”
Hayes Carll had a very sacrilegious song on the TROUBLE IN MIND CD. See if you can find it.
Boogie piano man Rev. Billy C. Wirtz has a lot of pun-filled songs. Try “FEMALE PROBLEMS” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdyffrZxGP4
Rev. Wirtz on getting old: “it now takes me all night to do what I used to do all night”
Bluesman Black Joe Louis, when asked why he was at front door of the Mustang Ranch:
“I just wanna get my..my..my ham glazed”
For bands with funny song titles try the Trailer Park Troubadours (DOUBLE WIDE AND DANGEROUS), Rev. Billy C. Wirtz, trailer trash rockers Southern Culture on the Skids (many videos of folks from audience on stage doing CAMEL WALK and then helping pass out fried chicken (EIGHT PIECE BOX) or banana pudding (song of same name).
Let's hear your favorites?
Goodness, where to start? Great topic!
"When will we die? Nobody knows. I'm comin' over to do a little dosey-doe." -- The Mother Truckers
"She untied my boots, she untied my jeans, she untied my tubes I had tied in my teens." – Country Dick Montana of the Beat Farmers
"I like water, I like air, I like space but not to share." Robbie Fulks
"Say girl you're hotter than the hinges hangin' off the gates of hell." Todd Snider
"Roll me up and smoke me when I die." Willie Nelson
And here's a few more: http://www.nodepression.com/profiles/blogs/why-country-is-funnier-t...
Another Willie Nelson line from "I'd Have To Be Crazy": "And I may not be normal, But nobody is"
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And Everybody knows. - Leonard Cohen from "Everybody Knows"
Thought I saw an eagle
But it might have been a vulture,
I never could decide - Leonard Cohen from "Story of Isaac"
Merle Haggard: "You ain't never gonna be no Bobby McGee, but you're tryin' to"
(from Red Bandana)
John Prine: A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down...and won!
Bobby Bare - Lullabies , Legends and Lies (Sings the Songs Of Shel Silverstein)
The full album basically , funny and brilliant in equal measure.
"When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself." -- George Thorogood
"I never said I would be honest, at least I told you no lies." -- David Olney
"The devil made me do it the first time, the second time I did it on my own." -- Billy Joe Shaver
John Prine: "I got rug burns on my elbows-she's got'em on her knees, I'm going steady with Iron Ore Betty-she's going steady with me"
Bobby Bare: "Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life" Mojo Nixon- "Debbie Gibson is pregnant with my two-headed lovechild" Country Dick Montana- "Are you drinkin' with me Jesus?..won't you buy a friend a beer!"
Tom Waits- "Frank's Wild Years" Screamin' Jay Hawkins- "Alligator Wine"
Lyle Lovett at his wedding:
“The preacher asked her
And she said I do
The preacher asked me
And she said yes he does too
And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son she's no lady she's your wife”
Bluesman Jimmy Thackery has his priorities: “I’m gonna sell the bitch’s car, I’m gonna buy a cool guitar”
The classic New Orleans song CABBAGE HEAD (try Dr. John version) is about the infamous back door man and has many great lines.
Delbert McClinton: If you turn a man into a monkey, the monkey’s going to monkey around”
In the blues field Little Charlie and the Nightcats were known for their double entendre songs: THINKING WITH THE WRONG HEAD, MY NEXT EX-WIFE, CAN’T KEEP IT UP, NEVER TRUST A WOMAN.
From PREACHING BLUES: “I want to be a Baptist preacher so I don’t have to work”.
Chris Gaffney: “Don’t let love tear apart what lust has brought together”
Song titles say it all:
How can I miss you when you won't go away? - Dan Hicks
You're the reason our kids are ugly! - Loretta Lynn